The idea that expats are like chameleons isn’t far from reality. Expats regularly adapt to new cultures, languages, and social norms to thrive in their environments, showing a unique flexibility that can feel like a survival tactic. This adaptability enables expats to connect with locals and ease into their new lives more comfortably. But while adapting is crucial for success abroad, there’s also the risk of losing one's "true colors" — core identity, values, and perspectives that form the foundation of who we are. Here's why it's essential to strike a balance between adaptation and authenticity.
The “Chameleon” Side of Expat Life
Expats learn quickly that embracing local norms, traditions, and ways of thinking is often key to building connections and finding a sense of belonging. For example:
Learning Social Norms and Language: Expats in Japan may adopt polite gestures or bowing as a respectful form of greeting, while those in France may embrace the tradition of a friendly cheek kisses.
Adapting to New Work Environments: Many expats change their work styles based on local expectations. For instance, moving from a direct communication style in the U.S. to a more nuanced one in Asia helps expats collaborate effectively with local colleagues.
Each of these examples demonstrates how expats, like chameleons, learn to “blend in” by making thoughtful adjustments. This process is key to building respect and fostering connections in a new country.
Why It’s Important Not to Lose “True Colors”
While adaptability is essential, over-adapting or disregarding core beliefs and values can lead to a sense of disconnect from oneself — a state sometimes referred to as "identity dilution." Here are some reasons why it’s important to maintain your core identity while abroad:
Self-Connection and Well-Being: Losing touch with your own identity can lead to expat fatigue, frustration, or feeling lost. Being aware of personal values and finding ways to honor them can provide stability, especially during challenging moments.
Authentic Relationships: Staying connected to one’s authentic self helps build deeper relationships based on genuine connection rather than superficial adaptation. This can mean expressing your beliefs or sharing your unique background in a way that fosters understanding and friendship.
Personal Growth and Cross-Cultural Learning: Keeping your identity intact allows you to engage in a meaningful cultural exchange, where you share your own cultural perspective rather than merely assimilating. This interaction fosters a true cross-cultural dialogue that can lead to mutual understanding and growth.
Long-Term Success Abroad: Being able to switch between cultures while remaining true to your core self creates a balanced approach that supports long-term happiness abroad. It allows you to connect deeply with the new culture without feeling that you’ve left your own behind.
How to Balance Adaptation with Authenticity
Expats can maintain their “true colors” while still adapting to their host culture by:
Setting Personal Boundaries: Defining boundaries helps preserve core values and beliefs, making it easier to stay grounded. because sometimes what you can witness in a country may come across your own values. Recognizing this doesn't mean accepting. boundaries are essentials.
Staying Connected to Home Culture: Celebrating home traditions, connecting with family and friends, and staying involved in familiar activities can help expats reconnect with their roots.
Sharing Your Culture with Others: By openly sharing aspects of your own culture with locals, you engage in a reciprocal exchange that respects both cultures.
Embracing the Dual Role
In the end, the most successful expats embrace their role as "cultural chameleons" without letting go of their true colors. Adaptation and authenticity are two sides of the same coin for those living abroad — the balance of these enables expats to thrive personally and socially while keeping a sense of purpose and self-integrity.
Hi there, I'm Anne Guslandi, a certified Expat Coach (ACC) with over 20 years of experience living abroad across three continents.
Throughout my journey, I’ve never met an expat who said it was easy—in fact, it’s quite the opposite! That’s why I designed this online course "Pilot your Expatriation & Beyond"
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