Hate Small Talk? You’re probably doing it wrong

Anne G.
Nov 26, 2024
3 min read

Updated: Jun 25

Learn the 7 Questions every Expat gets asked and why they Matter

When we meet someone new as an expat, conversations often begin with a predictable set of questions. While these might feel repetitive, they’re key to establishing connections. How you answer them reveals more than just facts—it sets the tone for first impressions, shows our energy, and reflects how we present ourself. Let’s explore these common questions, their importance, and how to turn them into meaningful exchanges.

1. Where are you from?

This is usually the opening line. It’s a neutral, curiosity-driven question to establish a sense of identity or find common ground.

Why it matters: Our answer sets the stage for connection. It can reveal shared experiences, ignite cultural curiosity, or even highlight differences to explore.

Pro tip: Beyond stating your country, share something meaningful or intriguing: “I’m from Italy, and I miss the food terribly—but I’ve found some great local bakeries here!”

2. How long have you been here?

This question often gauges our level of adaptation or familiarity with the place.

Why it matters: Our response helps others understand where we are in our journey. Are we still navigating the basics or already a local guide?

Pro tip: Instead of just stating a timeframe, reflect on what the time has meant to you: “I’ve been here for six months, and every week feels like I uncover something new about this city.”

3. What brings you here?

People love a good story, and this question invites us to share ours.

Why it matters: Our reason for being abroad gives insight into our values, goals, and perhaps our adventurous spirit.

Pro tip: Be authentic but keep it concise: “Work brought me here, but I’ve stayed for the vibrant culture and incredible community.”

4. What are you doing here?

Whether it’s work, study, family, or an extended adventure, this question opens the door to share our purpose.

Why it matters: It gives others an idea of our priorities and how we might relate to them.

Pro tip: Frame your response positively: “I’m working in marketing, and it’s been fascinating to see how different industries operate here.”

5. How long are you going to stay?

This reflects a curiosity about our long-term plans and investment in the community.

Why it matters: It subtly reveals our mindset—are you still exploring, or are you settled?

Pro tip: If unsure about your timeline, be honest but upbeat: “I don’t know yet—it depends on how this chapter unfolds, but I’m loving the experience so far.” But do not say you're here for 6 months, some people won't invest time to build the relationship as you're leaving soon. and I witness many people who came for 6 months and stayed years...

6. How is your [local language]?

This is both a compliment and a challenge. It recognizes the effort expats make to integrate.

Why it matters: Language skills often symbolize our willingness to engage with the local culture.

Pro tip: If your skills are developing, respond with humor: “It’s a work in progress, but I can confidently order coffee and pastries—priorities, right?”

7. Do you like it here?

The ultimate small talk question, it gives people a sense of our perspective.

Why it matters: Our answer reflects our adaptability and attitude toward our current environment.

Pro tip: Focus on the positives first, even if there are challenges: “It’s been a big adjustment, but I love the parks and the people I’ve met.”

Small Talk: A Necessary Foundation

Some expats dislike these routine questions, feeling they lack depth. However, small talk is a cultural norm that helps build rapport. These conversations:

Break the ice: They offer an easy way to start a dialogue.
Establish trust: Sharing your narrative invites others to reciprocate.
Lay the groundwork for deeper connections: Once trust is built, discussions naturally deepen.

our Narrative Matters

How we respond to these questions reflects not just our story but also our energy and mindset. Are we showing up with positivity and openness? Even simple answers can carry a tone that invites curiosity and collaboration.

Takeaway

Instead of dreading these "small talks" questions, see them as Opportunities to Connect, Reflect on our journey, and craft a narrative that represents our growth and aspirations.

Small talk is the first step toward building

Meaningful Relationships

in our life abroad.

What’s your go-to answer for “Where are you from?” Let’s share ideas in the comments!